My cousin Victoria read my last blog on the topic and I discovered a new point of view to the question, "What is Love?"
She writes in her own blog:
I completely agree that love not a "feeling"; how very vague and relative a "feeling" must be. That can't possibly explain what love is. Now, the rest of that first half is pure gold.
Love is present "when two people come together in a mutually beneficial relationship and strive to maintain that relationship against all the hardships the world has to offer, b/c what each receives from the other is too important to let slip away." That quote pretty much explains itself. So there must obviously be at least a basic expression of care for one another (a two-way street). It also seems that when two people love each other, they form a kind of "team" that works to stay together and both are stronger for it. As Victoria wrote, it might be difficult to say that you "love" someone when that someone does not "love" you back, because that is not a team. If both individuals are not working together as a team, it would be one-sided.
If I thought that last part was golden, then the next part is straight up platinum! I too, think that many people are misled by their own definitions of love, or at least what the media portrays (Yes, the media shapes/forms/screws up people's image of love). When we watch movies or TV shows or even listen to music where a "love story" is a central theme, we often hear how great it is. Whether it is a "happily ever after" type of story or there is an image of the "knight in shining armor" coming to save the "damsel in distress", it pleases us to hear how well it turns out. The problem is that we don't know what happens after the credits or after the song ends. We forget the part where there is regular, everyday life, with ups and downs and what have you. LOVE IS A PROCESS, NOT A ONE-TIME SCENE. I think that is why so many people are disappointed when they find flaws in the significant other or encounter a rough patch in the relationship, and they don't know what to do, so they try to find someone else, and don't try to work together as a team. This could possibly be a reason for the spike in divorces over the past 50 years.
People might also think of love as "lust" as depicted in passionate love scenes in movies, the world of pornography, and the world of fashion where beauty is depicted in terms of measurements. People might also think of love as a type of "codependence". The above paragraph might seem like codependence, but it only half right because it does have the "team" element, but it lacks notion that the two are working as one, for one; not two for two. Because, "Real love revolves around who the two of you are TOGETHER, not what each of you feels separately."
"Real love is striving to be better, not for each other, but because of each other." Is that not the best line ever? Enough said.
In summation,what I get from her blog is that love is a sort of bond between two people. I like to think of it as a seed that grows as the couple journeys along together. It grows BECAUSE the relationship is nurtured and tended to. A plant doesn't grow for the light/soil/water; it grows because of the light/soil/water.
Hopefully with this fresh point of view, I can understand love better and learn to love better from now on.
As always, continue to learn to love and get ready for Part 4.
She writes in her own blog:
"I think that love is not something you feel for another, but rather what exists when two people come together in a mutually beneficial relationship and strive to maintain that relationship against all the hardships the world has to offer, b/c what each receives from the other is too important to let slip away. In short, I don't think you can "love" someone unless they also "love" you.
I think what many people think is love is really romantic love, or lust, or codependency. Real love is working together to make a life for yourselves. Real love is bringing out and facing the truths in each other (the good and bad). Real love is striving to be better, not for each other, but because of each other. Real love revolves around who the two of you are TOGETHER, not what each of you feels separately."
Now let's break it down...I think what many people think is love is really romantic love, or lust, or codependency. Real love is working together to make a life for yourselves. Real love is bringing out and facing the truths in each other (the good and bad). Real love is striving to be better, not for each other, but because of each other. Real love revolves around who the two of you are TOGETHER, not what each of you feels separately."
I completely agree that love not a "feeling"; how very vague and relative a "feeling" must be. That can't possibly explain what love is. Now, the rest of that first half is pure gold.
Love is present "when two people come together in a mutually beneficial relationship and strive to maintain that relationship against all the hardships the world has to offer, b/c what each receives from the other is too important to let slip away." That quote pretty much explains itself. So there must obviously be at least a basic expression of care for one another (a two-way street). It also seems that when two people love each other, they form a kind of "team" that works to stay together and both are stronger for it. As Victoria wrote, it might be difficult to say that you "love" someone when that someone does not "love" you back, because that is not a team. If both individuals are not working together as a team, it would be one-sided.
If I thought that last part was golden, then the next part is straight up platinum! I too, think that many people are misled by their own definitions of love, or at least what the media portrays (Yes, the media shapes/forms/screws up people's image of love). When we watch movies or TV shows or even listen to music where a "love story" is a central theme, we often hear how great it is. Whether it is a "happily ever after" type of story or there is an image of the "knight in shining armor" coming to save the "damsel in distress", it pleases us to hear how well it turns out. The problem is that we don't know what happens after the credits or after the song ends. We forget the part where there is regular, everyday life, with ups and downs and what have you. LOVE IS A PROCESS, NOT A ONE-TIME SCENE. I think that is why so many people are disappointed when they find flaws in the significant other or encounter a rough patch in the relationship, and they don't know what to do, so they try to find someone else, and don't try to work together as a team. This could possibly be a reason for the spike in divorces over the past 50 years.
People might also think of love as "lust" as depicted in passionate love scenes in movies, the world of pornography, and the world of fashion where beauty is depicted in terms of measurements. People might also think of love as a type of "codependence". The above paragraph might seem like codependence, but it only half right because it does have the "team" element, but it lacks notion that the two are working as one, for one; not two for two. Because, "Real love revolves around who the two of you are TOGETHER, not what each of you feels separately."
"Real love is striving to be better, not for each other, but because of each other." Is that not the best line ever? Enough said.
In summation,what I get from her blog is that love is a sort of bond between two people. I like to think of it as a seed that grows as the couple journeys along together. It grows BECAUSE the relationship is nurtured and tended to. A plant doesn't grow for the light/soil/water; it grows because of the light/soil/water.
Hopefully with this fresh point of view, I can understand love better and learn to love better from now on.
As always, continue to learn to love and get ready for Part 4.